Dynamite and Drabble
by SavvyEnigma
Summary: Drabble (actually it's more bits and pieces) from Bayverse and G1, mostly Bayverse with G1 characters. T for safety. Sum. edited but needs more work...Wheeljack apparently agrees with me. *"I think it needs some modifications," he said at last. "Now, where did my arm go?"*
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Transformers, I merely borrow the characters to weave my own tales, and I am not making any profit from this.

* * *

**Chatter**

There were times when Barricade hated Frenzy's constant chatter. Other times, it was a welcome respite from the silence.

**Fragment**

Optimus's spark was heavy as he removed the Allspark fragment from Megatron's shattered spark chamber.

**Maintenance**

Ironhide was sure that going to see Ratchet for a normal check up did not normally result in the both of them being painted bright pink. Later, Ironhide "assisted" Ratchet with Sideswipe's check up. Sideswipe had to be dragged to the med bay the next time he needed maintenance.

**Invasion**

Ron Witwicky still held a grudge against Simmons for invading his home and destroying his garden.

**Refuge**

When Sam had nightmares, he would sleep in his car. The nightmares always seemed easier to handle when he didn't feel alone.

**Commend**

Prowl ought to commend him for being so sneaky and pulling off such a delicate operation—instead, he threw him in the brig. Still, Jazz thought with a smirk, Prowl looked good in electric blue and lime green polka-dots.

**Cassette**

Ironhide really hated Soundwave's Cassettes.

**Envious**

There were times when Mikaela was envious of Sam's close relationship with the Autobots. At times, he seemed to be one of them, part of their family.

**Essential**

Chocolate, Sam mused, was essential for calming down your girlfriend after a battle in which you nearly died. Again.

**Potential**

There was a lot of potential in Sam to be a prankster—Jazz and Sideswipe took it upon themselves to train him in the arts of a perfect prank.

**Identical**

Rumble and Frenzy were not identical, and it irked them when someone mistook one twin for the other.

**Emphasize**

Sam hated the emphasis his dad put on "getting home by curfew." It wasn't his fault he and Bumblebee got ambushed by Starscream, making him late.

**Leash**

Sometimes Megatron thought he should keep Starscream on a collar and leash.

**Shield**

Wheeljack cheered as the device didn't blow up. Sam tapped the shimmering blue bubble he was trapped in. "Okay, so this force-field thing works. How do I get out?" Wheeljack paused, looking at the machine. There was no "off" button.

"Oops."

**Fatigue**

Sam collapsed onto Bee's leather seats, exhausted. Who knew training with Lennox and NEST could be so tough? Oh wait, he did. He was an idiot for asking to train with them. NEST was one tough cookie. Too bad he had baked himself into said cookie.

**Politician**

Ironhide really hated politicians. He had great sympathy for Optimus, who constantly had to deal with them.

**Precision**

Jazz always worked with style and precision. Even when gluing pink fluffy pink teddy bears to the floor, walls, and furniture in Starscream's room.

**Crisis**

Sam was panicking. "I'm doomed!" He yelled. "Bumblebee, we need supplies ASAP!"

Bumblebee paused in his conversation with Optimus and looked at him. "What's the trouble, Sam?" Optimus asked.

"We're out of chocolate! It's a crisis!"

He received blank looks and confused frowns from the Autobots. "Why is chocolate a crisis?" Sideswipe asked.

Sam stared at him, shock and disbelief on his face. "You try dealing with Mikaela at this time of the month without chocolate!"

"What time of the month?"

"SAM!" Mikaela yelled. "WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Um, I'M JUST RUNNING TO THE STORE! I'LL BE BACK SHORTLY!" Sam yelled back. "C'mon, Bee, let's go before she kills me!" Bumblebee transformed, and they peeled out of the base, the rest of the Autobots staring after them in puzzlement.

**Logic**

Prowl failed to see the logic in the song "Rock-a-bye Baby," and he nearly locked up when he heard Sarah Lennox singing it.

**Modify**

Wheeljack looked at the crater in the middle of the ground. "I think it needs some modifications." He said at last. "Now, where did my arm go?"

**Honoured**

Sam was honoured and amazed that someone as awesome as Bumblebee would ask to stay with him and act as his guardian.

**Revolve**

Sam's life revolved around the Autobots and their friends.

**Dislodge**

"BOO!" Sam choked, struggling to dislodge the bite of sandwich from his lungs. Bumblebee glared at Leo for two weeks afterwards.

**Accomplished**

Homework done? Check. Chores done? Check. Driving with Bumblebee? Check. Pranking Leo? Check. Choking on coffee? Check. Accepting the offer to be the Autobots ambassador? That had yet to be checked off. He figured he would do that after he got the scalding liquid from his lungs.

**Accommodate**

Really, the garage was not meant to house a giant alien robot. Bumblebee kept hitting his head.

**Responsible**

Sam was very responsible for his age. After all, he tried to get home before curfew, he trained with NEST, he dealt with his ambassador duties, and he got revenge on Simmons for torturing Bumblebee. Simmons looked quite good with pink and green hair.

**Groan**

Sam had to groan when he saw Bumblebee's sheepish expression.

**Drawing**

Annabelle said it was supposed to be him. Lennox thought it was cute. Epps said that it looked exactly like Will—a square with four sticks for arms and legs that had a squiggly oval for a head.

**Sulk**

Bumblebee sulked for days after he found Sam looking at a sports car magazine, until Sam told him that no car in the magazine could compare to him.

**Shopping**

The Autobots could never understand Mikaela's fascination with shopping. Sam was at loss to explain it to the bewildered mechs.

**Potato**

Some say potato, some say patato, Blur said "pto!"

**Outrageous**

Sam face palmed when he saw his mother's latest purchase—a large, flowery hat that was outrageously pink and sparkly.

**Discombobulate**

He was confused. Very confused. "Say what?" Sam managed to get out. Preceptor started to explain again, and Sam held up a hand. "English, please, not whatever gobbly gook you were saying before."

**Cracker**

When Rumble asked Buzzsaw if "Polly wanted a cracker," he ended up in the med bay for three days.

**Belong**

There was no question about it—Sam belonged to NEST and the Autobots. There was no chance of him ever getting a job anywhere else.

**Terror**

Starscream knew what terror was. It was falling from the sky with damaged wings and no one to save him.

**Shock**

Starscream knew what shock was. It was falling from the sky with damaged wings and expecting to die, then being caught by Sideswipe, of all bots.

**Gratitude**

For weeks after the incident with Starscream, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker kept finding datapads of pranks, tubs of wax, and other gifts in their room. For a while, they simply shrugged and accepted it. After they started receiving red roses and sunflowers, though, they got annoyed and called the Nemesis to tell Skywarp to lay off on the gratitude.

**Surprise**

To say that Optimus was surprised was an understatement. Skywarp had shown up out of nowhere, grabbed him, then promptly proceeded to tickle him before disappearing again, leaving him lying on his office floor, laughing.

**Emulate**

While Sam did not emulate his parents in their love for gardening, he surprised everyone by becoming as diplomatic as Optimus at times.

**Appendages**

There were some appendages that Sam had an intense dislike of—tentacles were one of them.

**Superfluous**

When the Autobots first heard the word "superfluous," they smirked. It wasn't until later that Sam learned they were all thinking of Sentinel Prime.

**Paper**

Sam was grateful for Mikaela—she always knew when he needed paper to write something down, and she seemed to be able to produce it from thin air. She also seemed to be able to remember where he put his notes.

**Grass**

When Sam first rolled on the ground for no apparent reason, Bumblebee took him to see Ratchet. It took a while for him to explain to them that he just liked the way grass smelled and felt, and that, no, he wasn't coming down with a virus.

**Snow**

Sam loved showing new arrivals the snow—they always had such interesting reactions, especially when he told them to stick their glossas out to taste the snowflakes.

**Claustrophobia**

It was a well known fact that all flyers were claustrophobic. It was a little known fact that Sam was as well.

**Overcompensate**

Galloway had a habit of going too far trying to kick the Autobots off Earth.

**Accelerate**

Sam loved the feeling when Bumblebee accelerated—there was a rush of adrenaline, and Bumblebee's entire frame vibrated with power.

**Lotion**

One look at Sam's cracking hands had Bluestreak, newly arrived to Earth, running for Ratchet, screaming that "the organic was breaking!" It took Sam a while to calm him down and explain that he was fine—his hands were simply dry. The next day, Sam found dozens of containers of hand cream in his room.

**Contagious**

It took them a while to convince the Autobots that, no, sneezes were not contagious.

**Cyborg***

They were, essentially, Cyborgs. Shawn wasn't pleased.

**Encouraged**

Sam was encouraged by Bumblebee. His guardian chased him around on his daily runs as encouragement to keep running, and waved cannons in his face as motivation to get him to, finally, propose to Mikaela.

**Potpourri**

Sam sighed as he looked at Bluestreak, having finally deciphered what the Autobot was saying. "No, it's not made of pots, and no, you don't pour it into your eyes. It's just a bunch of smelly flowers and leaves and stuff."

**Fuzzy**

Every time Sam hugged, him, he felt warm and fuzzy. When Ratchet heard him mention it, he dragged him off to the med bay for scans. Sam had to rescue his guardian.

**Pony**

Annabelle liked them. Ironhide didn't.

**Effective**

Ironhide was very effective in terminating things. See something, aim at the thing, shoot the thing, and completely obliterate the thing.

**Super-frag-a-cala-listic-nix-me-aly-go-cious***

The first time Prowl heard it, he crashed, and it took Ratchet three days to bring him back online because he kept remembering the word and crashing again.

**Word**

Words were a powerful thing. For instance, you could be ever so diplomatic with them, even when threatening people.

**Squiggle**

"What is it?" Annabelle smiled widely and pointed at him. Ironhide squinted at the drawing. It looked like a bunch of squiggles and lines to him, but he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "I see. It's very nice, Annabelle." He said after a moment. The two year old smiled and toddled away, leaving him with the minuscule—to him—piece of paper. A slow smile formed on his face as he looked at it, and after a while, he subspaced it with the rest of Annabelle's drawings.

**Caviar**

" . . . What are you eating?"

"Caviar."

Bluestreak stared at him in horror. "You eat unborn life?"

Will groaned as the newest Autobot raced away, screaming for Ratchet. "Its just fish eggs." He said to no one.

**Incomplete**

Without Sunstreaker, Sideswipe was incomplete, and there was a big ache in his spark that only lessened when he felt his brother fall through Earth's atmosphere, and only disappeared once Sunstreaker punched him. "Missed you too, bro." He said with a grin, Sunstreaker's affection pouring through their bond.

**Nemesis**

He narrowed his optics.

_It_ was staring at him.

It was the bane of his existence, his nemesis, and it was here in his med bay.

He needed to defend his domain against this intruder, but how? This . . . this thing was far more deadly than a Decepticon! His frown increased as he noticed that IT seemed to be smirking as if it could read his thoughts.

His fingers itched as he reached for a wrench, ready to obliterate the thing that dared intrude in his domain and mock him with that smug assurance that he wouldn't dare do anything to harm it.

Two minutes later, Ratchet smirked as he polished away the scorch mark on the berth. He was still smirking evilly when Ironhide entered. "Ratch—err, I'll just come back later." The Weapons Specialist said hurriedly, seeing the look on Ratchet's face and making a hasty retreat.

_Yes,_ Ratchet thought with a chuckle. _**IT**__ is no longer around to taunt me. _Mikaela, though, would most likely be unimpressed by the demise of her fluffy pink towel.

**Give**

Some people just kept on giving. Sam was one of those people.

**Lithium**

If there was one thing Sam was certain of, it was that the Autobots couldn't be classified as Lithium. They were stronger than anyone he knew, both in body and at heart. What Sam didn't know was that the Autobots thought of him the same way.

**Relevance**

Prowl frowned at Jazz. "Why did you mention fluffy pink teddy bears in your report? I fail to see the relevance fluffy pink toys have to your latest mission."

Jazz just smirked.

**Hostile**

Prowl stared through the bars at his brother. "Barricade," He said softly. Barricade gave him a hostile look and turned his back with a snarl. "Brother, please—"

"I am not your brother!"

Prowl's doorwings drooped slightly, and he turned away. His brother's rejection was like an Energon blade to the spark, but he didn't show it. He didn't see Barricade turn and stare after him with sorrow and regret in his optics, didn't see Barricade reach out as if to call him back, then let his hand drop back to his side, and he didn't hear Barricade's whisper.

"I'm sorry, Prowl. It has to be this way."

**Yawn**

It also took a while to convince the newcomers that yawns weren't contagious after Leo and Simmons decided to pretend that yawning was a disease. Ratchet glared at them for weeks after that.

* * *

Shawn is an OC from the story Mechanic/Mechanic Continued.

The super long word from Mary Poppins. (I do not own Marry Poppins)


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Transformers, I merely borrow the characters to weave my own tales, and I am not making any profit from this.

A/N: In the last chapter, "Essential" ties in with "Crisis."

* * *

**Beautiful**

Mikaela's face after he proposed was the most beautiful thing Sam had ever seen. He soon had to correct himself after he saw her walk down the aisle on their wedding day.

**Autumn**

Bluestreak found autumn to be both beautiful and tragic—the leaves turned colors just to die. Even so, it was, he decided, one of his favorite times of the year.

**Staple**

The day Sam stepped on a staple—one of the big ones used in construction work and not in the office—was one never to be forgotten. It resulted in three hours of mass chaos, due to the fact that it happened after a battle, and Sam went to find Ratchet without telling anyone. Bumblebee panicked, thinking that he'd been kidnapped by the Decepticons, which threw the entire base into an uproar. Optimus was just organizing a rescue team when Ratchet called in to say that Sam was fine—aside from a limp. Ratchet's reaction was to put a tracking device on the sheepish teen. Optimus gave him a lecture. Will and the others joked about it. Bumblebee refused to let Sam out of his sight for three weeks afterwards, even with the tracking device.

**Foxhole**

During a battle, when both Starscream and Prowl were injured, they ended up taking shelter in the same spot. After a wary moment, they came to an agreement and a short truce was made, mostly because Starscream collapsed on top of Prowl due to Energon loss, and Prowl was unable to move him because of his own injuries.

**Trebuchet**

Surveying the blackened, charred, and pit filled runway, Will decided that Wheeljack was never building a trebuchet ever again, even if it meant chaining the Engineer down and putting him in solitary confinement.

**Goad**

Never, ever, ever goad or taunt Ratchet on a battlefield, especially while he's tending a patient. Skywarp learned that the hard way.

**Resonance**

The resonance from Jazz's spark was something Prowl would never take for granted again. He had no idea how much he missed the sound of the Saboteur's spark until Jazz came back to life.

**Honor**

Ratchet watched from the shadows of the med bay as Will placed something on each sheet covered body, respectfully remaining silent as the soldier bowed his head. When Will left, Ratchet examined the objects. A teardrop shaped medal made of bronze engraved with the words _A Comrade and Hero, Never Forgotten_, and a picture of a bird perched on a nest, ready to take flight, suspended on a gold ribbon laid on the chest of each fallen soldier.

**Reverence**

The Allspark shard was treated with reverence by the Autobots as a relic of Cybertron, and the human government treated it as an item with military value, a piece of metal to be kept out of Decepticon hands.

**Pillar**

Whether Sam knew it or not, he was a pillar to many people. They could look at him, see what he went through, and walk away with the courage to face the next battle. They drew strength from his determination, and the fearless way he could interact with beings much larger than him.

**Architecture**

While the NEST base was nothing to look at on the outside, from the inside it was absolutely amazing. The Autobots had designed it with care to house both humans and themselves, and it was built to be both a military base and a home. It wasn't Versailles, but it was beautiful in its own way.

**Snap**

The day Galloway tried to block Sam from ever seeing the Autobots again was the day when the Autobots snapped and demanded that he be removed from his post as Autobot liaison.

**Tome**

Sam always hated reading huge books about politics, history, or anything along those lines, but when he was asked to become the Autobots ambassador, he plunged into the thick books with an enthusiasm that shocked everyone.

**Biology**

Ratchet found human biology intriguing, but he didn't care much for the sight of Will trying to puke his guts out, especially when the contents of the soldier's stomach ended up on Ratchet's ped.

**Discovery**

Hound loved discovering new things about Earth, and most of the Autobots enjoyed it too. However, when Hound discovered skunks, no one enjoyed it.

**Return**

Jazz's return from the Well of Sparks was only made possible by Sam's idea to use the Allspark shard, the equivalent of a Cybertronian defibrillator, and ten gallons of pink paint. No one knew where, exactly, the pink paint came in, but it worked.

**Amazing**

Mikaela was simply amazing. No one else he knew would stop everything they were doing to bring him his forgotten notes during a meeting with many world leaders and politicians, wearing oil and grease stained coveralls, and with a smudge of soot on their cheek, just because he asked. And while someone else might have a different opinion of her as she walked into the room looking like she just crawled out of a junk yard, Sam thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

**Train**

Every day at six o'clock in the morning, before he started working for the day, Sam would join Lennox and his team for drills. When he got really sick and tired of dealing with politicians, he would find Ironhide or Will and get them to give him a shooting lesson. Most times, the target had the face of one of the politicians. The official name for shooting a hologram was training. Sam called it stress relief.

**Tintinnabulation (The ringing of bells)**

It felt like a hundred people were ringing church bells in his head. Sam stared up at the ceiling, dazedly wondering why so many churches had been built in his ears. "I'm so sorry, Sam!" Mikaela winced as she inspected the rapidly growing bruise that covered half his face. "I didn't even see you there!"

"Sss 'kay." He muttered around the numb side of his jaw. "Bu' dun shrow any mur teshbooksh a' me, pleesh."

**Art**

Sam liked drawing. He wasn't all that good at it—in his opinion—but it was something he enjoyed. He never told anyone, until he lost his sketchpad and later found Sunstreaker looking through it. Five minutes later, Sunstreaker was teaching him how to draw "properly."

"You have talent. Stop wasting it."

"Okaaay." Sam looked at his sketch pad. "So, no more stick figures?"

Sunstreaker glared at him.

"Hey, they were good stick figures!" He defended.

Sunstreaker carefully flipped open the book and pointed to a drawing of a stick figure, then flipped to the next page over, revealing a very detailed and realistic sketch of Optimus.

"Okay, no more stick figures."

**Chandelier**

For some reason unknown to all the other Decepticons, Megatron hated chandeliers, and shot every single one he saw. There was a story behind it, but it was highly unlikely that he would share. Only Optimus knew, and he wasn't telling.

After all, saying that Megatron had once been attacked by a chandelier, and that Optimus had had to rescue him, would not do very well for Megatron's ego. It was damaged enough as it was.

**Serenity**

The day the twins decided to paint him pink—for the sixth time in a row—Prowl snapped. In a very calm and professional manner. First he went to the wash racks to clean himself, then he marched down to the brig, kicked the twins out, and locked himself in. He had about five days of peace and quiet before Ratchet came down and dragged him out for a processor scan.

Prowl, annoyed at having his tranquil session of twin free days interrupted, promptly wacked him over the head with a datapad and went back to the brig, charging himself with attacking a superior officer. He was, after all, off duty, and so had no authority. Aside from being able to put himself in the brig, that is.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, I merely borrow the characters to weave my own tales, and I am not making any profit from this.

* * *

**Automatic**

He didn't realize he automatically ducked every time he entered the med bay until Ratchet demanded to know why. Sam stared at him. "I do?"

"Yes, Sam, you do." Ratchet said with a sigh.

"Oh. Um . . ." At a loss, he simply shrugged. The next time he entered the med bay, he made a conscious effort not to duck.

Then ducked anyway because one of Ratchet's wrenches sailed past his head.

_Well, now I remember why._ He thought, staring at the wrench embedded in the wall.

Ratchet kept automatically throwing wrenches, and he kept automatically ducking them. It turned into kind of an unconscious game between the two of them. Optimus asked about it, concerned, and Sam shrugged, pointing out that nothing ever came close to hitting him. He ducked, and Ratchet always threw a good twenty inches higher than his actual height.

**Eliminate**

He had the target dead in his sights. He was ready to fire. All it would take was one shot, and there wouldn't be enough left of the human to bury. The insignificant organic being had killed his leader and destroyed the future of their race.

But still, he hesitated.

There was something about his target that he admired. The courage and determination he showed while facing Megatron was something he'd rarely seen amongst his own comrades.

He couldn't bring himself to shoot.

After a moment's thought, he called the human's cell phone. "_Hello?_"

"You are no longer in any danger from me." Barricade said flatly. "I no longer wish to eliminate you."

"_Barricade?_" He yelped.

He terminated the connection and transformed, speeding past the startled human and his guardian with sirens blaring.

**Calligraphy**

Sam's writing, unlike many other guys, was strangely flowing and smooth, almost like art. No one knew that this skill had come from long hours of being hunched over a paper, drawing Cybertronain glyphs, and struggling to find a method of writing that wouldn't make his hand cramp after three hours.

**Agility**

Sam turned out to be the most agile person in his gym class—no surprise, since he was constantly running for his life or participating in NEST drills.

**Gentle**

For all of their strength, the Autobots were shockingly gentle when handling the humans. Except when their friends were threatened by other humans. Then threats ran rampant, and cannons were waved around freely.

**Taming**

Sam had a knack for "taming" Decepticons. First it was Scorponok, then the bots that had been sparked at Mission City, then Barricade, Starscream and his trine, and finally—the last mech anyone ever thought would become an Autobot—Soundwave.

**Evacuation**

It didn't take long for the humans to evacuate the room after some of the Autobots began attempting to copy dance moves off the internet.

**Mirage**

Sam was the first one to realize that Mirage had made it to Earth, even though he didn't realize who the mech was, since he thought he was hallucinating, and after he finally managed to convince Ratchet and himself that he wasn't crazy, it was discovered that Mirage had suffered extreme damages during a battle on the far side of the galaxy with several Decepticons, knocking his vocalizer and communications systems offline, as well as damaging his electro disruptor, which forced him to stay invisible.

**Placate**

"Hey, Mom. Yeah, I'll be home for thanksgiving, I promise. Yes, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? Okay, I might have a bit of a cold. No, I'm _fine_. Ratchet's looking after me, and you know he's like, smarter than any human doctor. Bye, love you!"

Sam hung up the phone and took a deep breath before handing the phone to Frenzy and looking up at Barricade.

"Thanks."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"For letting me call my parents and Mikaela."

He flinched involuntarily as Frenzy blasted the phone, reducing it to nothing but a pile of melted plastic and metal. He looked back at Barricade with a sad smile.

"I mean, not everyone has the chance to say goodbye before . . . dying."

"Megatron is waiting." Barricade said curtly.

Sam glanced down at the chains around his wrists, then turned to face the door. "Okay. Just . . . Cade?"

"What, fleshling?"

"After I'm . . . dead . . . will you call Optimus? Before Megatron, I mean. They don't deserve hearing about it like that."

". . . Fine."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me."

Without waiting to hear if Barricade had anything else to say, he strode over to the door, head held high as he walked to meet his doom.

* * *

_Honestly, I have no idea where Placate came from, and I know this is short-only nine pieces-but I couldn't resist putting it up._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, I merely borrow the characters to weave my own tales, and I am not making any profit from this.

I have no excuse for some of the stupidity you are about to witness in the form of drabble. Honestly, I don't know where half of these came from. (I blame the tapdancing carrot.)

* * *

**Will**

"Will Will win this battle of wits and wills with the wild and willful Wheeljack, or will this battle prove to be too winsome and whacky for Will?"

Will glared at Epps. "Stop that"

"Stop what, Will?" Epps asked innocently.

The other soldier abandoned all confrontation with Wheeljack over his newest exploding invention and tackled him. "You'd better have your Last _Will_ and Testament written out already, because so help me I am going to _kill_ you!"

"Why?"

Will paused; hands clamped around his throat in an attempt to throttle him, and gave him a murderous look.

"Uh, I mean, sorry. Will, don't—eep!"

**Invaluable**

Sam was invaluable to them, as a brother, an ambassador, a Prime—although human, a friend, and a fellow Autobot. They proved that when they launched a full scale attack against the Decepticons when they threatened to kill their hostage—Sam. Half of the Autobots ended up in the med bay for an extended period of time, and when he asked why they did something as insane as storming the Decepticons in their own base, the response was, "Why wouldn't we? You're part of our family now."

**Power**

It was the one thing he craved: power. That was what drove him to wage a war against his own kind. That was what eventually destroyed him. The power he lusted for turned against him.

He desired to live a normal life. But he was determined to do the right thing. His sacrifice was what eventually drew the power his enemy craved to him. He didn't desire power. He got it anyway.

**Leakage**

Cybertronians couldn't cry, and they'd never heard of tears before they came to Earth. So when they first saw a human cry, there was mass panic.

"RATCHET, THE HUMAN IS LEAKING!"

"I'M NOT LEAKING, YOU MORON! I'M CRYING! LOOK IT UP ON THE INTERNET!"

**Cage**

It was a cage. He'd thought that he wanted to be normal, but it was, in reality, a prison. While he was at college, his friends were fighting for their lives. He had to do something to help, even if it meant abandoning the normal he craved, and escaping the comforts of the cage he lived in.

**Prove**

It took a lot of research, a lot of talking, and a lot of late nights and stressful days spent slaving over a computer in between meetings, but Sam finally proved that they weren't just machines. Before the leaders of every nation, he brought a three hour long presentation that won the Cybertronians a legal position as citizens of Earth, and as sentient beings with the same rights as humans.

**Protection**

It came as a shock to the Decepticons when they learned that Sam, the human they'd been trying to kill, was the only thing standing between them and deactivation. When the entire world demanded their execution or imprisonment, he demanded they be given the same rights as the Autobots. It was a long legal battle against the human governments, but in the end, Sam won, something that stunned everyone, and he was finally able to stand in front of them and declare them to be free beings.

The one they'd hunted had become their protector.

**Weep**

The Autobot ensign looked like it was crying. When Sam asked why, Optimus answered, "The war started because of injustice. We may fight against the Decepticons, but that does not mean we don't mourn for them. They were simply fighting against what they saw as wrong. Over time, their purpose became corrupted."

Sam thought about that for a long time before nodding slowly. "Makes sense. Guess you're kinda grieving over your brother too, huh?"

Optimus's optics clouded with sorrow. "Yes."

**Gangster**

Will stared as Sam walked into the room, sporting a Mohawk, pierced ears, spiraling tribal tattoos, wearing a black, spiked collar, black leather and a mass of chains. Sam ignored the stares and took his seat, briefly glancing at his notes before he began the meeting with the visiting ambassadors from several countries, completely professional despite his strange get up.

"The dye should wear off in a few days, and I'm supposed to see Ratchet about getting the glue removed from my clothes." He told Will with a sigh when the older man asked. "Until then, I am stuck being . . . gangsta."

Needless to say, Optimus wasn't happy with Jazz and the twins. Neither was Ratchet, or Bumblebee, or Will for that matter.

**Donut**

"Sam, what's a donut?"

"A donut is a ring of dough with a hole in the middle, most often covered in some form of sugar or chocolate." Sam answered without looking up from his textbook.

"Oh." Sam was beginning to get a bad feeling about this conversation. "Sam?"

"Yes, Hound?"

"When someone tells you to get three dozen donuts, how many donuts are they referring to?"

"Thirty six."

". . . Oops."

_I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know. _Slowly, Sam raised his head and looked at the mounds of boxes of donuts surrounding the Autobot. There were well over four hundred boxes._I was right, I don't wanna know._ "Hound," He said, taking a deep breath. "Why did you get so many donuts?"

"Three dozen, translated to Cybertronian, is the equivalent to your number, six thousand."

". . . So you got six thousand donuts?"

Hound nodded sheepishly.

Sam's head thunked into the table. "Note to self, inform all newcomers that the word "dozen" refers to twelve." He muttered. Glancing to the side, he took in the piles of boxes. "Next note to self, find a way to get rid of six thousand donuts."

**Kill**

The first time Sam took out a Decepticon on his own, it was in the middle of a desert and he was half blind, delirious, and badly injured. When the Autobots found him, he was still ripping out wires, despite the fact that the Decepticon was dead. The only clear memory he had of his first kill was the panic and terror in the mech's optics. Those optics haunted Sam's dreams for months.

**Mathematics**

Sam excelled in anything that had to do with numbers. Not because of the Allspark's influence, but because he, in a fit of boredom while flying to meet some new arrivals who'd landed on the other side of the world, realized that he had his math textbook inside his backpack. Once the Allspark had realized what he was doing, they began a competition to see who could come up with the craziest problems. There was a lot of mathematical graffiti scrawled on the walls by the time they landed, half of it in Cybertronian. That plane was famous amongst NEST for that incident, which included Sam using Prowl, Perceptor, Bluestreak, Wheeljack—the new arrivals—and Ironhide as "paper." No one knew where he'd gotten the paint or the paintbrush from, but it provided a lot of entertainment.

Sam, apparently, looked like a little kid on a sugar high when he and the Allspark were inspired by math. Amazingly, Prowl found the logic in this and even joined in with some calculations of his own. This resulted in a massive debate of mathematics, science, and logic when Perceptor and Wheeljack started in. Bluestreak seemed slightly traumatized by the end, but Ironhide tolerated all of the "geek speak" after Will promised him a new paintjob.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, I merely borrow the characters to weave my own tales, and I am not making any profit from this.

I have no excuse for some of the stupidity you are about to witness in the form of drabble. Honestly, I don't know where half of these came from. (I blame the tapdancing carrot.)

I didn't like the length of the previous chapter 5, so I deleted it and replaced it with this one.

* * *

**Ghost**

"I saw you. When you were just a flicker of a spark, I held you in my hands and I cherished you. I cared for you. I watched you grow. You were mine, and you were precious to me. I was there every nano-second, when you finally came online, when you took your first steps, when you said your first words, when you read your first datapad, when you took your first class, when you grew into a fine and respectable mech. I was there to witness you becoming a soldier, when you began the war I never left your side. And even when you broke my spark, I still loved you. How could I not? You are my creation, you always were. Come home, Megatron. Please, come home."

"_Never!_" Dark faceplates twisted into a snarl of rage as he rammed the energon blade through the bone colored armor.

Deep, calm blue optics stared into burning crimson, like endless pools of wisdom and kindness…and sorrow. A pale hand came up to grasp the weapon that stuck out from his back, piercing straight through his frame. "…Forgive me."

Then his entire body flickered several times, image wavering like a broken channel on a TV, and vanished. And the Decepticon Warlord's chassis exploded, the same sword that had been thrust through the ghost's spark shattering Megatron's as the pale mech flickered into existence again for a brief instant before disappearing.

**Terrible**

There was a running bet on base that Sam was a terrible singer. Bumblebee won it after betting he was an amazing singer and playing a recording of his charge singing in the shower. The soldiers' reactions? Priceless. Sam's face after realizing everyone was listening to him singing opera? Well, that's what cameras were for.

**Spacious**

The NEST base was very spacious. It had to be, considering how tall the Autobots were. Sometimes, at least for the humans, it was too large. But when Sam was choking in the silence and pressure, it just wasn't big enough.

**Imitate**

The Autobots did their best to imitate human customs…sometimes not very successfully.

**Logic**

Prowl was a very logical being and required very detailed explanations for many human quirks and oddities, such as the song 'Rock-A-By-Baby' and superstition, or otherwise his logic processor would lock up and he'd crash, which made Ratchet a very unhappy bot, so Sam was delegated (as the Autobot-Human ambassador) to come up with these explanations. It was amazing what sort of insanity he could make sound logical.

The Explanation of the Easter Bunny became a legend on base.

**Androgynous**

Cybertronians, before they came to Earth, had no concept of genders. New arrivals had a difficult time figuring out these new cultural boundaries, which meant both hilarity and headaches for Sam and the NEST soldiers.

**Hyperventilate**

Sam was prone to hyperventilating. The first time this happened in front of Sideswipe after the mech had scared him, he was rushed to see Ratchet. Which made Sam, in the middle of a panic attack, burst into tears and run to—of all bots—the newly defected Soundwave. Surprisingly, the monotone command of "Cease your hysteria, fleshling," actually worked…although Sam remained clinging like a limpet to the Decepticon for the rest of the day until his guardian returned from his mission.

Soundwave's cassettes were forevermore traumatized and, as a result, stayed far away from humans showing signs of tears, hiccups, and mental breakdowns.

**Summons**

It was calling…calling…he had to go to it. He had to find it. _Wherewasit? Wherewasit-ah. Its here._ He smiled dreamily, hands reaching out for it.

_Come. Come to us brother._

"I'm coming…"

The Matrix of Leadership glowed brightly at his words.

And then he vanished.

_Hello, Brother._

**Devoted**

Sam gave up his entire life to help the Autobots and few neutral or defected Decepticons. Both of his girlfriends' broke up with him, unable to handle the high-stress lifestyle that being a Cybertronian ambassador entailed, he had few friends outside of NEST-really, Leo was the only one who still talked to him from his college days-he had to take online, specialized courses and meet with tutors occasionally to finish his education, and he barely had time to visit his parents on the holidays and few days he got off.

But it was worth it.

Although Judy still complained about not getting grandbabies.

**Hallucination**

"…Stawburries."

"…What?"

"Straburreeks."

"Maggie…are you trying to say strawberry?"

"Glowing pink berrystraws. With wings."

"…Um, Mikaela?"

"She's fine, Will. Just hallucinating on pain meds."

"…Oh."

"Stwabeekies!"

**Soggy**

This was just not his day. The coffee was burnt and watery, his toast was soggy…his clothes were soggy…was there a part of his morning that wasn't ruined?!

"Hi, Simmons. Lovely day, isn't it?"

Glower.

"Um, Epps?" one of the soldiers said uneasily, catching Simmons' murderous look. "…It's pouring rain outside."

**Zapped**

Anyone stupid enough to touch Jolt when his electric field was engaged was treated to a nasty shock.

**Dream**

He wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not, but the towering spires and bustling civilization were still there when he smacked himself. The sinking feeling that was steadily replacing his shock grew worse the longer he stood there.

_'Sorry, Annabelle, it looks like Daddy won't be able to make it home like he promised.'_

**Comprehend**

Will had never really comprehended the sheer magnitude of what it must have cost the Autobots to leave their home, knowing they would never be able to return, but with growing dread he realized that comprehension might not be far off. It wasn't something he wanted to understand.

**Realization**

His home-his _family_-didn't exist anymore. They might never exist.

**Barren**

The war had left Cybertron barren, an empty shell of what it once had been. Sam had seen pictures of it, but only those who had been there to see the destruction happen knew just how badly Cybertron had been decimated.

**Fertile**

Earth was a very fertile place, a drastic change from the ruins of their home planet. They prayed the humans would never see that kind of destruction.

**Life Expectancy**

The average lifespan of a human was but a mere blip in Cybertronian time, just around a year long in their sight.

**Eyebrow**

Bluestreak was both highly entertained and secretly jealous by the amount of expression human eyebrows could convey.

**Encounter**

"Hello."

The youngling, startled out of his keening, stared curiously at the organic standing in front of him. He knew that it was of the Human species, but it didn't appear to be wearing any protective gear like most humans did when they visited Cybertron. "H-hi."

"Are you lost?"

"I c-can't find my creators," he answered, voice wavering and antenna drooping sadly.

"What are their designations?"

"Bumblebee and Arcee."

The human paused, and a wistful smile flickered across its face. "Bumblebee, huh? I don't think you have to worry about finding your creators—they're probably looking for you now."

"Neo? Neo!"

"And it looks like they found you."

Neo bounced to his peds, optics brightening as he heard his creator calling for him. Suddenly remembering something, he turned, asking, "What's your design—?" He froze in surprise. "Where'd you go?" he asked the empty air, bewildered. "I wanted to ask what your designation was."

A soft chuckle sounded in his audio. _Sam. My name's Sam Witwicky._ But there was no one there.

He was still standing in the alleyway in confusion, wondering if he'd glitched, when Bumblebee found him. "Neo! You're alright!"

The youngling cheered. "He was right!"

"…What?"

"The human, Sam Witwicky, he said I didn't have to worry about finding y…you. Creator?" He stared uneasily at the stunned expression in the older mech's optics. "Creator, what's wrong?"

"…Sam Witwicky was my human charge…he died in the final battle against the Fallen on Earth…six million years ago," Bumblebee whispered.

"You mean the same Sam Witwicky that died in Egypt and then came back just long enough to revive Optimus Prime so he could take down the Fallen? The Hero of the Great War?"

The black and yellow mech smiled sadly. "He would protest he wasn't a hero…but yes, that Sam Witwicky."

"Can you tell me more about him?"

"At home. Arcee is worried about you."

Scooping up his errant offspring, the former scout walked off. He didn't see the bone white mech emerge from the shadows, or sense the sorrowful blue optics that briefly flickered green staring after him. Even if he had looked back, he would have seen nothing. The image of the mech existed only for a moment before it distorted, wavering with broken lines of static and flickering briefly, then disappeared completely.

**Metamorphosis**

Sam didn't mind the change so much. Sure, it was awkward being nine foot three with another inch being added daily, tripping all over the place and banging his head on things while growing metal plating inscribed with Allspark glyphs, occasionally puking up organic organs only to have them replaced by their Cybertonian counterparts, and the entire 'being able to watch his chest slide open to reveal a spark underneath' thing was kind of eerie, but he didn't really mind. What he _did_ mind was being told he would be taken to a research lab to become a guinea pig. Fortunately, the Autobots also took objection to that. There was just something about twelve or so giant alien robots with a small army's worth of weapons that made them just not want to waste the lab space…

**Vengeance**

They were the humans who had fought in the Autobot-Decepticon war on Earth. They were the humans who had, after Earth's destruction, agreed to save their allies. They were no longer human, bound and determined to stop Megatron this time. They fought under Primus's command, led by the Keeper of the Matrix and the Host of the Allspark.

_Listen closely, Decepticon scum, for_

I am Vengeance Prime.

We are the Remnant.

_This is our retribution._

**Tendency**

Sam had a tendency to ramble when nervous. Bluestreak had a tendency to ramble even when he _wasn't_ nervous. They made great friends.

**Athletic**

Sam wasn't the most athletic of people…until he started running for his life on a near-daily basis. The funny thing was that most of the time he wasn't running because of a Decepticon threat.

"I sneezed, Bumblebee! I'm not dying!"

**Stunner**

After four years of joining NEST for their daily torture that they called 'drills', Sam had turned into a tall, lean mass of perfectly defined and tanned muscles. He'd given up on dating after the fiascoes that were Mikaela and Carly and instead focused on his career—being the Autobot Ambassador—and he was highly intelligent (a residual effect of having the Allspark downloaded into your brain—it made him just as intelligent as the Autobots) but somehow he always failed to notice that, especially when he wore a suit and gelled his hair, he had no shortage of admirers drooling over him.

**Gunpoint**

"If any of you moves, he dies!"

The pistol-whipped hostage, sagging in the arms of one of the bank robbers snorted, blood drenched hair dripping in his face as he lifted his head. "Seriously? You couldn't have come up with a more original line?"

The leader gritted his teeth. "I am holding a _gun_ at your head, pretty boy."

"Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. Cute little piece of scrap, ain't it? Where'd you get that, the dollar store?"

"I don't think you understand—"

"Oh, I understand perfectly." The hostage smirked. "But I don't think _you_ do."

The gun went off with a thunderous report.

**Kind green eyes**

"Julia, honey! Where did you go? Mommy was looking all over for you!"

The five year old didn't respond for a minute, simply setting down her polka-dot backpack on the ground and hugged her mother's leg. When she responded, she spoke into the fabric. "I runned 'way to the playground an' I was never comin' back, an' I was playin' inna sandbox, an'a nice man dressed like Daddy came an' asked me where my mommy was'n I 'splained, an' he tol' me that he runned 'way too an' runnin' 'way don't solve problems, it only makes'm worse, an' then he tol' me lostsa things an' askered me to go home so I did 'cause I doesn't wanna make you sad like he was an' Mommy, I'm sorry."

A while later, after Julia had calmed down and was safely settled inside with a cookie, her mother asked about the stranger. She later recalled those words to her husband when telling him about the incident.

"He had kind green eyes like Daddy has, but his were very sad, like Grandpa's when he talks about his soldier days."

**Pork chop**

Sam hated pork chops. They always tasted _wrong_.

**Problematic**

Two sets of twins on base caused no end of trouble, but Ratchet wouldn't have it any other way, despite his grumbling. He hated the lost look in Sideswipe's optics when he thought no one was looking. Twins weren't meant to be separated.

**Substance**

Optimus stared at the strange, glowing substance dripping from the walls in Wheeljack's lab and the sheepish, gloop covered engineer who only had one word to say. "Oops."

"…I don't want to know."

**Trigger**

_Bang!_

Several people screamed in panic and fear as the gun went off. The ironic thing was, the person who had been shot simply flinched with a sharp inhale. "Ooh, ouch." He grimaced, staring down at his torso, still speaking in a conversational tone. "Lower lung, eh? Looks like the Hatchet's gonna have a field day with me again." His demeanor suddenly changed, going icy cold as he met the gunman's eyes. "Let me make one thing clear to you, _sir_. You were done the instant you pulled that trigger."

"And what makes you say that?" the older man demanded cockily. At this point, all attention was focused on the three figures in the center of the floor.

"Mmm, I dunno," the relaxed, casual air was back again. "Maybe because the cavalry's here?"

And then the windows exploded in a shower of glass and smoke.

**Shovel**

"…For the love of—! Epps! You couldn't have made a bigger hole?"

"I could if I had a shovel."

**Luck**

He had to be the luckiest guy in the world. Or the unluckiest. Either way.

**Doom**

Ratchets glare of Doom was enough to make Optimus himself cringe in fear. It normally signaled a missed check-up.

**Minuscule**

Well, on the bright side, the Cybertronian war had ended. On the not-so-bright side, it was because shoving the Allspark into Megatron's chest had triggered a reaction that not only teleported every single living Cybertronian (and even the ones who weren't) to Earth, it had also shrunk them all down to barely a fraction of their size. Optimus, formerly 32 feet high, now barely reached an inch.

On the bright side, no one even dared to instigate another war after Sam's furious rant that had forced them all to settle their differences. On the downside, it took many hours of negotiations before those differences were settled.

On the bright side, Sam got a brand new, very secure, very high-tech house. With tiny trains on little tracks going to every single room, and dozens of matching elevators, along with fun sized everything else to match with their human sized counterparts. There were even little miniature houses (more like small skyscrapers) scattered everywhere in nooks, crannies, and shelves. And he got to live with Bumblebee, which was awesome. On the downside, he was now the official ambassador and guardian for all Cybertronians, which meant he had to deal with _politics_ and _politicians_, and his house had been turned into a miniature city. And he had the Allspark downloaded in his brain. And he also had something called the Matrix of Leadership embedded in his left forearm.

On the bright side again, all of the Cybertronians who had died during the war had been resparked by his Allspark powers. On the downside, this meant he was now sharing a residence with millions of pocket sized Cybertronians.

On the bright side, Cybertron had also been shrunk and had followed them to Earth, so Sam could start fixing it.

…

On the downside, this meant he had a gigantic orb bigger than his house floating in his backyard.

**Focus**

_"Oh, hi, Will," Sam said, grinning up at him from his sprawled position on the floor. "Took ya long enough."_

_"You know Bumblebee's not going to let you go anywhere without a fully armed escort now, right?"_

_"Don't remind me. How're the others?"_

_"The rest of the hostages are fine, thanks to you getting the robbers to focus all their aggression on you."_

_"Great."_

_"You could've tried diplomacy."_

_"What do you think gave me the lump on my head?"_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, I merely borrow the characters to weave my own tales, and I am not making any profit from this.

I have no excuse for some of the insanity you are about to witness in the form of drabble. Honestly, I don't know where half of these came from. (I blame the tapdancing carrot.)

* * *

**Comfort**

"It's alright. Not going to hurt you," he managed wearily, watching the skittering glow of hundreds of pairs of optics, peering through the shadows. "I don't think I could, anyway. Even if I wanted to. ...Not that I do."

_Allspark?_

Sam glanced down at his arm, grimacing at the fingers of metal slowly creeping over the limb, then at the luminous web knitting through flesh, bridging the gaping edges of the hole in his torso together. He could still see the ground through it. If he wanted to, and if he still had two hands, he could have put both of them through the hole palms spread and not have touched his own body. His body more resembled an abstract, war-torn Cybertron now, a landscape of jagged metal built on a living (dying) being. His heart was all but obliterated, but he could still see part of his lung working. It would probably stop in a few minutes.

"M not...yet. Probably will be soon, though," he admitted to himself. "Wonder if I'll still exist after this..."

_Hurt?_

"Dunno. Don't wanna think about the pain."

One pair of optics skittered closer, peering into his eyes. The tiny hatchling appeared to be judging him. This lasted for a long time, then it gave a purr-like sound and curled up in the hollow of his throat. Barely a few seconds later, the rest followed.

Like a living metal blanket.

_Comfort._

_"Thank you."_

**Flying**

_'Alright.'_

He was screaming. He knew he was. He couldn't hear it though. It was more of a detached sense, like he was a stranger in his own body.

_'They say the trick is to aim for the ground and miss.'_

Closer, closer...

_'Lets hope I miss, then.'_

_Hello, Planet Dirt._

**Truth**

"You're lying."

"He's _gone_, Mikaela. Dead. He isn't coming back. The sooner you accept that the better."

"You're lying."

"The funeral's next week."

"You're _lying!_"

"No, Mikaela, I'm not."

**Stage**

"I really can't believe I let you talk me into this," he muttered, fidgeting uncomfortably with his eye patch.

"Oh c'mon, dude, it'll be fun!"

"Sure, and knowing my luck the 'Cons will decide to crash the party."

"Relax, dude. Just enjoy the music."_  
_

"I haven't been able to relax in a crowd since I lost my eye, Miles." He twitched as someone slammed into his back. "I _really_ want my visor right now..."

Miles suddenly shot him a suspicious look. "You didn't bring _it_, did you?"

"..."

"You did, didn't you?"

"..."

"Saaam!"

"It was this or a security guard with all the bells and whistles."

"...Fine. Just don't shoot the stage. I want to _enjoy_ the concert."

"My PTSD is _not_ that bad."

"I threw a chocolate at you and you shot it out of the air."

"...Shut up, Miles."

**Llama**

"..."

Will stared at the llama. The llama stared at Will.

There was a stare down of epic proportions.

Then Will realized he was in a staring contest with a llama.

"You know what? No. I'm not even gonna ask." He turned to leave, then paused and leveled a finger at Sideswipe and Epps with a glare. "_You_ will deal with whatever paperwork this causes."

**Mentor**

"That is a straw. Humans use them to suck things, most often liquids, into their mouths. Sometimes to shoot spit-balls..."

"?"

"This? This is a spork. A cross between a fork and a spoon. A really stupid and useless contraption that we are forced to use because some people are too lazy-and cheap-to get _real _ eating utensils. Sporks are evil. They should be eviscerated. And then there would be no more sporks and we could use normal eating utensils."

"?"

"No, we don't eat utensils. We eat _with_ them."

"?"

"It is inadvisable to put them up your nose. Whoever you saw doing that was an idiot. If you put them up your nose, your nose turns into a frog, and then you have this frog clinging to your face."

"!"

"...If it was Leo, then it was probably a bet made with the evil coffee stealers...hm, moving on..."

Will shook his head, reaching for the coffee pot beside Maggie. "I'm still not used to that."

"Not used to what? Sam translating Cybertronian or Sam being followed around by giant aliens like a momma duck with ducklings teaching them 'the ways of Earth'?"

"Both."

...

"You have to admit, he does make a good mentor."

"Mm."

They stood side by side for a minute, watching in silence before Will spoke again.

"He's sleepwalking again, isn't he?"

"Yup."


End file.
